Hi, I’m Kristie Essa, MSN, MA, BSN, BS, APRN, FNP-BC. Yes, that’s a lot of letters after my name, but what it really means (besides a lot of student loans) is I’ve spent over a decade treating patients and learning how the body ticks. Now, I’m here to make sure it also kicks.
I’m a board-certified Family Nurse Practitioner with subspecialties in pain management, OB-GYN, urgent care, and family practice. I’ve seen firsthand how lifestyle and nutrition can make or break health, hormones, and happiness. So, instead of boring diet lectures, I decided to cook up something far more delicious. Food that heals, fuels, and flirts with you from the plate.
Cooking is my love language. But life can sometimes throw you a curve ball. You can deep fry a sewer rat, and it can taste good, but with a family full of special food needs like cardiac concerns, EOE, gluten-free, dairy-reduced, and a daughter who’s both a powerhouse athlete and a sugar fiend, I had to get creative. That’s when the spark hit. Food doesn’t have to be bland or bossy. It can be bold, cheeky, and even a little naughty.
Travel has also seasoned my kitchen. Each trip abroad has taught me new flavors, textures, and techniques. I’m a foodie, a wanderer, and someone who firmly believes that health should taste as good as it feels. I want your meals and your health to always come in first. And if we’re talking bedroom performance, well, let’s just say this book is Top Gun and I’m giving you the fuel to keep up.
That’s how The Boner Diet was born. Starting with Morning Wood Edition, soon following with Afternoon Delights, all compiling a full Erection Collection. My mission? To help you cook meals that are healthy, hilarious, and downright delicious. Because let’s face it, a stiff drink is nice, but a stiff… breakfast? Even better.
And finally, a shout out to my amazing, bad to the bone husband of over 23 years. He has spent hundreds of hours creating webpages, helping with editing, and encouraging me every step of the way. Love you to the moon in back (as long as we are in First class, cause that’s a long flight).